Tryin' Not To Love You
by Chewtoy
Summary: One Shot. Your emotions eventually split and surface. Rated M, just to be safe.


Okay, first of all, I realise that this is nearly o month late, useless I know, but never the less it's here. My bit of Liley fluff. Let me know what you think! =)

The song in it is Nickelback's Tryin' Not To Love You. I am making no claims that Miley Cyrus wrote this song. All right's go to whoever they need to go to.

Christmas was always one of those happy times; you celebrate with your family, friends, lovers, somebody that you felt a connection to. This year was different for Miley Stewart.

Sitting in her dressing room, she was waiting for the call for her to come and do her live piece, in her opinion she couldn't give a crap. Since splitting up with her lover, she had retreated to within herself, becoming bitter, self absorbed even. She couldn't care less about all the usual Christmas cheer. She picked at her phone, pulling at all the gems and glitter around the edge off, anything to keep herself from thinking about the constant ache in her chest. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand and looked at it with hope; instead she got another stab in the heart as she looked at the display picture that she couldn't bring herself to take off.

The picture had been taken after she and Lilly had made love for the first time. She smiled at the memory. They had been hiding in bed all afternoon and Lilly had said how she loved Miley's hair all tousled. Lilly then retrieved Miley's phone and continued to take photos, some appropriate and some not, for the next hour. Miley nearly killed Lilly when she caught her taking a picture of her trying to put on her underwear which had 'Hannah Montana' written across them. Lilly's idea of a joke. The end result was Lilly got the picture and Miley never got to keep her panties on.

A knock on the door brought Miley out of her thoughts once more, she looked up. "Come in."

"Hey bud, they said you've got fifteen minutes." Robbie poked his head round the door and looked at his only daughter. Miley had been miserable ever since they had parted their separate ways three months ago and Robbie didn't know how to make it any better. Miley refused to open up about the break up to anyone; she had closed the doors around her and mostly hid behind her alto ago, choosing to do more and more publicity. Robbie hoped that Miley wasn't reverting back to the days when Hannah ruled her.

"Alright. Thanks Dad." She gave him a strained smile.

"Everything alright?" Robbie opened the door right up and stepped in.

"Mmm." Miley replied, looking down once more as her father sat down beside her.

"Come on bud, what's going on, I know you're upset about Lilly, but you've got to move on."

"Dad, just leave it." Miley got up and checked that her wig was in placed once more. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why don't you send her a card or something, maybe try and be friends again."

"Just leave it." She raised her voice through gritted teeth as tears dripped down her cheeks, she dabbed furiously. It didn't take much to set Miley's emotions off these days, a sad film, song or even just a memory of happy time.

"Just try bud, you might be surprised." Robbie stood up and left his daughter in peace.

Miley looked at her make-up, it has smeared down her face. She sighed, dabbing the facade back on in its layers.

Sitting back in her chair, Miley thought back to the past two years with Lilly. Ending up with her best friend hadn't exactly been on Miley's plans, but somehow her and Lilly just fitted. Memories flooded her mind. The one that jutted out the most was when Miley decided they had to move out.

"_Jesus, holy, fucking, Christ." Miley breathed with each jolt that Lilly sent through her body. "Keep going." She tangled her hands in Lilly's sweat drenched hair, tugging as she moved with the rhythm._

_Robbie opened the front door with Lori, Jackson and Sienna in tow. He immediately stopped and everyone behind him rammed in to him, pushing I'm further in the room. Jackson was about to moan to his Father when the scene in front of him made him nearly bring up his dinner. Lilly and Miley were so engrossed in each other they failed to notice the four extras in the room._

_Lori was the only one who seemed able to find her voice. "For God sakes, stop! Cover yourselves up!" She said with a loud voice. _

_This made Miley and Lilly jump out of their skin; they flipped the blanket from the back of the sofa over them. "What the hell are you doing back; you said you wouldn't be back until 10."_

"_It's 11." Robbie said walking through the living room, averting his eyes from the various pieces of clothing scattered around the room._

"_I'm staying at Sienna's." Jackson announced, walking straight back out the door._

"_Dad, get out!" Miley yelled._

"_No, this is my house, you know you obey by my rules, you want to do that, you buy your own house."_

One month later and a little over a year after getting together they had brought an apartment together. Nothing obscene. Just something modest, something that Miley and Lilly could get away with saying that their parents brought for them. Miley smiled at the fond memories of deciding what colour to paint their bedroom. Lilly wanted cream and brown while Miley wanted an obscene red. After not much persuading, Lilly had given in. Miley smiled at how she had persuaded Lilly, it hadn't taken much, a simple touch and squeeze and Lilly was like butter melting over a hot flame. She knew those soft spots. Miley so badly wanted to be with Lilly again, she swore to herself that she would let no one else touch her. Lilly was her first and last.

A knock came on her door; some sort assistant announced themselves before requesting that she joined them. Heaving her sorrow out of the chair she followed, stopping short at the side of the stage, waiting to be called on.

"And here is our special guest star for tonight, HANNAH MONTANA!" Cheers rang out through the studio as Miley plastered on her fake smile as she walked out from behind the stage. "Hello, Merry Christmas!"

"Hannah!" The presenter called before kissing on her on each cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too and tanhk you for having me."

"Believe me Hannah, thank you. Now, are you doing anything special for Christmas?"

"The usual, a quiet one with the family." She smiled and gave a small shrug.

"Okay, what will you be singing for us?"

"Tryin' not to love you."

"Doesn't sound very Christmassy." He laughed.

"It's not really, but it means a lot to me." Miley held her microphone tightly as her emotions tried to surface once more.

"Okay, well give it up for Hannah Montana everybody!" Loud cheers rang out around the studio once more as Miley clipped her microphone in place.

"Hello, I wrote this for someone special, you know who you are." Miley gave a small sniff before nodding at the guitarist.

You call to me, and I fall at your feet  
>How could anyone ask for more?<br>And our time apart, like knives in my heart  
>How could anyone ask for more?<p>

But if there's a pill to help me forget,  
>God knows I haven't found it yet<br>But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far  
>Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart<br>Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor  
>And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for<br>'Cause trying not to love you  
>Only makes me love you more<br>Only makes me love you more

And this kind of pain, only time takes away  
>That's why it's harder to let you go<br>And nothing I can do, without thinking of you  
>That's why it's harder to let you go<p>

But if there's a pill to help me forget,  
>God knows I haven't found it yet<br>But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far  
>Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart<br>Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor  
>And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for<br>'Cause trying not to love you  
>Only makes me love you more<p>

So I sit here divided, just talking to myself  
>Was it something that I did?<br>Was there somebody else?  
>When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears<br>Sat right down beside me, and whispered right in my ear  
>Tonight I'm dying to tell you<p>

That trying not to love you, only went so far  
>Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart<br>Now I see the silver lining, from what we're fighting for  
>And if we just keep on trying, we could be much more<br>'Cause trying not to love you  
>Oh, yeah, trying not to love you<br>Only makes me love you more  
>Only makes me love you more.<p>

Miley finished with her tears sparkling in her eyes, easily noticeable to the audience and cameras. She thanked the audience before walking off the stage, furiously wiping as she did so.

"Hannah!" Robbie called, chasing after his daughter as she fled from the studio; even in heels Miley was much faster than him. Robbie stopped and doubled over; gasping for breath before looking up and watching his daughter turn a corner.

Miley kept running, tears blurring her vision until she hit something. She ricocheted off and wiped her eyes, looking up she saw a mass of blonde. "Lilly?" Miley didn't know whether she was dreaming or not, she reached out to touch. "Are you real?" She whispered.

"I'm real." Lilly whispered back as she felt Miley's hand on her face. "I saw you." She said softly.

For the first time Miley saw Lilly properly, she looked as beautiful as ever, she felt her heart begin to bang against her chest. It was as though it was physically trying to get to Lilly, to be with her, to love her. She didn't know what to say or do; it was as though someone had nailed Miley's feet t the floor.

Lilly made the first move and grabbed Miley before pulling her close. "God I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." She squeezed Lilly harder, not wanting to let go for even a second. She inhaled Lilly's scent, the mixture of hair products and perfume was intoxicating. "I've really missed you." She sobbed in to Lilly's shoulder. Lilly was completely silent but she never let Miley go, she just buried her head in to Miley. "Please tell me you feel this same." She raised her head from Lilly, pulling herself back she looked at Lilly squarely. "I love you. I love you so fucking much. It hurts Lilly, I can't do anything without thinking of you, I can't sleep, I can't think, I don't wanna be without you, you were my life before we started dating, nothing has changed."

Lilly looked at Miley solemnly. "Look Miley..."

Miley felt her heart plummet and hit the floor. "Lilly please..." She cried once more, onlookers in the street turned at the howl that came out of her. More turned as the realised who the person was, but nobody came for autographs or photos, they all looked shocked as Hannah Montana, one of the most famous and successful artists in the world was crying out to a nobody.

"I would have taken you back without that speech, but it was nice." Lilly smiled as she watched the expressions flick across Miley's face before being launched at once more. "I love you too Miles, I've always loved you, and I've wanted you every day since I left."

Miley pulled back once more and looked at Lilly. "You've got no idea how badly I wanted to hear that." Lilly stroked Miley's streaked, powered cheek. "You're so beautiful."

"So are you." Miley felt Lilly bring her hands up to where her wig stopped. She teased it up, moving the wig slightly. "Let me see you." She tugged the wig free and allowed Miley's long brown to fall freely down her back. "That's the women I fell in love with."

The onlookers looked shocked as they saw the blonde bombshell reveal her true self.

"You realise my secrets out." Miley smiled softly.

"Which one?" And with that Lilly kissed Miley, the passion and fury from months apart erupting in that one kiss.

Pulling apart Miley took Lilly's hand and smiled. "Come on, let's go home."


End file.
